Pleasant Street

When I started running I felt the ache in my legs immediately.  It's been way too long since I've done this and my body was paying me back for months of sitting on my ass and drinking beer.  After about five minutes I got tired and looked as far down the street as I could see.  The road curved up ahead and I told myself I'd turn around when I got to the curve.  But when I got there I realized I didn't need to turn around yet.  I had hit my stride and I was surprised that I made it here as quickly as I did.  The fact is,

It's not always as hard as it looks. 

Once I really got going, it was just about staying in that zone, in that stride, where I could freely move--and this is where I found focus.  This is where my mind was cleared.  This is where things finally started to make sense.  Hitting the stride let me forget about how tired I was getting, how out of shape I was, and how stressed I was.  I was finally allowed to stop what I was doing (except running, I couldn't stop running) and focus on me.  When I did that I was amazed by what I found.  Confidence. (Safe) carelessness.  Calm.  I was relaxed, or as relaxed as you can be while running through the Back Bay.  This is what I want to emulate during the rest of my day when I'm not running.  When I'm working, when I'm studying, when I'm making dinner, and when I'm writing.  Confidence and focus.

You will hit your stride.

I need to tell you about where I'm running.  To give you a feel for it I'll say that it is the Back Bay of Boston, but it's really Brookline.  Brookline is a bit snooty--a lot of professors from the nearby Harvard, MIT, Boston University and Northeastern University live in Brookline in some of the most expensive real estate in Massachusetts.  Being the poor, somewhat disheveled recent college graduate that I am, I feel a little bit out of place running through there.  But that's not what I want.  In fact, when I think about my future, this is how I imagine it--in a quiet, beautiful neighborhood, not far from the city, in a moderately big (big for New England) house with trees, grass, and a back yard.  And that's a pretty accurate description of Brookline.  It was today, while running through Brookline, that I passed Kenn Elmore's house, the Dean of Boston University.  The charm he poses is warming; his ability to connect with you personalizing; and his magnetic personality is disarming.  As someone who has to safely navigate between bureaucratic bullshit and personal connections, I greatly admire him.  It was then that I realized how I needed to get comfortable with running in Brookline if I was going to succeed in getting myself there.  I know see that you need to

Surround yourself with the people you want to be.


Now, back at my apartment, I ran 1.6 miles all together and it took me about 20 minutes.  Yeah, not very impressive.  Especially when I tell you that I was done after just 20 minutes.  But I'm not the least bit embarrassed.  Like I said, my run today allowed me to rediscover my confidence.  It let me assess the state of reality in the present moment, and to calmly consider my place in it.  It is for that reason that I am not ashamed, and I simply remind myself...

You have to start somewhere.


Until next time, keep running.

The Beginning

Today I started running again for the first time in months.  I was sitting in my apartment getting frustrated with my inability to cook and my lack of things to do, and it was really strange how the solution to my frustration came to me: I need to go running, I thought.  I honestly couldn't try to explain that, it just made sense to me.

And that is what I have come to realize.  Running is an escape for me; but also, and more importantly, it is a recharging escape.  It allows me to disappear for a few brief moments and focus on what I really want so that when I come home I am ready to go.

To me, writing has always been important.  I started crafting (horrible) stories as young as 7 or 8, and as I grew up, writing became essential to me.  In many ways it was the same escape that offered the same benefits I just mentioned above.  But as I've matured, I've found it difficult to come up with content.  And so it was while I was running today, for the first time in what felt like an eternity, that I realized that this was my opportunity to bring content to my writing.

My intention here is...well, to tell you the truth I'm not entirely sure what my intention is.  I think it's a little bit of double motivation, on one hand--run so that I write and write so that I run--but on the other hand, I think I'm reaching out.  I already know enough about me as a runner to know that I'm not the type of person that has a partner. Running is about me, however selfish that might sound.  But it is time that I have set aside to listen to my body, to clear my head, and to bring the two together.  So, in some odd way, I am inviting you to be my running partner via this blog--without sacrificing my opportunity to get back in touch with myself.  I hope you find yourself at home.